So I may get the prize in accumulating side effects. I have made it to the third page of the little handout they gave me. The page relegated to the weird side effects people “rarely get”. Liars! My blood counts are beautiful, but that’s about it. I have had to go back to the hospital twice this week to load up on magnesium and potassium. They have had to consult the head of pharmacology to see what max doses of drugs they can give me to manage some symptoms. They keep swearing that the side effects eventually wear off. Tick tock people!
My mouth is sandpaper now including my tongue. Even my frenulum hurts (assignment- google frenulum and marvel and how something like that can hurt). Nothing tastes good, which is fine, because nothing I eat agrees with me so I am not craving anything right now. If it is cold or soft, it is palatable…so Keith is singlehandedly keeping Graeter’s in business during this pandemic.
I am exhausted dealing with the side effects and trying to wade through what medicine will stop one side effect but then I have to counterbalance it with a different medicine. New and complete appreciation to my Elena and the other kids whose days are spent battling these side effects. Not only are their little bodies trying to fight off cancer, but the very drugs they give them to fight it off simply wreaks havoc on the rest of the body. I can already see how the chemo has shrunk my mass, but to what detriment to the rest of my body I wonder. I sit here every night exhausted in bed wondering if my body will ever function normally again.
I now understand those nights with Elena when she was so defeated and I kept trying to encourage her and she just looked at me with weary unbelieving eyes. Most nights I give Keith those same looks. But today is a new day and a new opportunity to kick cancer’s ass. Thank you for all the kind words and thoughtful gifts for the girls. It makes all of this a little easier on all of us!